.:: K-HITS ::.

Concert Calendar
New Releases
Artist of the Week
Classic Hits Links
Listen Now

Join the Workforce
Promotions
JC & the U-Man
All Around Town
Singles Connection
Air Personalities
Contact Info
Advertise With Us

Great Outdoors
Clubs / Venues
St. Louis Attractions

Career Channel
Autoworld
Traffic

Weekly Relationship Tips - Getaways

By Tim Connor, CSP

The average wedding today costs between $15,000 and $20,000 - for a 3-4 hour party. (I am not talking here about the wedding ceremony or honeymoon but only the reception.)

Yes it is a wonderful and memorable celebration, but have you ever considered that over half of the millions of weddings that take place that this cost is just down payments on divorce later in the relationship? People marry out of love. Wonderful and novel idea. I endorse it however, many of these people fall out of love as quickly as they fell in love.

Think about it. You spend $15 grand to entertain friends and relatives at a party. 50% of the time within 5 years these parties were nothing more than that - an expensive party because the two people involved end up distant strangers because: a - didn't know each other very well. B - had too high and un-communicated expectations for their mate, c- believed their partner would change or they could change them, or d - they 'outgrew' one another over time. You might think I am against marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am a romantic at heart. I believe that we were not put here to spend our lives alone but to share life's experiences intimately with another human being.

So folks, I have a suggestion. Put the $15 grand in the bank, have a nice small quiet inexpensive party with a few good friends and family to celebrate your special event and use the large portion of the money to finance little get acquainted vacation weekends together a few times a year for the first several years of your marriage. Psychology Today magazine recently reported that over 65% of all marriages have a 'significant' marital problem in the first year. These problems usually (50%+) end in the termination of the relationship. Many of these issues could have been successfully worked out if the two people involved would have spent more quality time 'getting to know' each other - the real other - away from the pressures and stress of careers, children, in-laws etc.

Think about it for a minute: the cost of the marriage party, throw in the cost of the ceremony, now add the cost of divorce and you can get a rather large number. I know, I have been there.

You see, I have discovered in both my personal life as well as the relationship seminars I do for couples and singles groups that, most people are in relationships with strangers. They are busy in their careers, raising kids whatever, but they fail to really 'get to know' their significant other through deep sharing of hopes, dreams, fears, frustrations, needs, wants, and fantasies.

These little regular getaways can go a long way in disarming the many issues that can cause a relationship break-up. There are however, a few rules during these little getaways.

No books, magazines, work related stuff, TV or radio (that includes while driving to and from.)
No telephone calls, sight seeing or movies.
No diversions of any kind that keep you from communicating.
All you do is talk. That's 8 days a year if you do it quarterly, to get to know your partner.
Go alone, no friends.
Go with no agendas, expectations.
No judgments, criticism or ego games are allowed.
You can't come home early if it doesn't work.
Your conversation can not be about: politics, your career, kids, or the weather, only about each other.

I'll bet you are thinking, Tim, you are nuts! Maybe I am, however I believe there would be less relationship heartache, stress, resentment, guilt etc. if people would spend this kind of quality time together at least four times a year. The average couple spends less than 3 hours a week in meaningful dialog. This does not include conversations about; what's for dinner, how are the kids, did you know that you mother said, conversations about work, the weather or your latest hobby. I have hunch what you are thinking what's left? Getting to know each other, really know them!

Tim Connor, CSP
web site: http://www.timconnor.com

« Return to Previous Page

What search engine do you use most?

• Yahoo!

• Google

• Excite

MO Power Ball: 27, 34, 42, 49, 52, Powerball: 23, Power Play: 2

IL Mega Millions: 1, 10, 17, 23, 35, Mega:45

results posted by 9am following day

Saint Louis, MO

Sunny
48°F
MORE→